Be Naked For Men
If we wanted to please men, we’d wear nothing.
This has been my default, dismissing response anytime I heard someone say that women dressed for men. And, until two days ago, I thought I was right.
Prepping for a girl’s night out at a friend’s apartment, I was browsing through her closet for an outfit, after having spilt wine on my skirt. I came across a stunning, gold-laced, high-neck dress with the tags still on it.
“Can I wear this one?” My voice intoning. She hasn’t even worn it yet. What was I thinking.
My friend glanced at the dress and said, “Yeah and you can keep it.” She then looked at me and rolled her eyes, “Eric doesn’t like it.”
Eric is her boyfriend. I felt a smooth stone traveling down my throat. So, there is some truth to what I thought was a sexist and dated misconception.
When does dressing to feel sexy (for ourselves) transform into dressing to look sexy (for others)?
The line between these two approaches is blurry. Most of the time, I realize, we do a bit of both. But, I think it’s important to question our attire mindset because by doing this, we check in on our self-image and confidence.
Read the two following internal monologues:
A) I have a big presentation tomorrow to the Marketing Department and am confident in my data. But, I know Marketers consider Finance folks “uncreative, accounting drones.’ So, I’ll wear a colorful scarf which might catch the attention of their artistic eyes, while I persuade them to invest in projects….
B) I’m going on a second date and really want this guy, who checked most of my boxes, to like me. He mentioned that his favorite actress is Eva Green, so he probably likes girls with long legs. I’ll wear heels with a short skirt to show mine off.
Yes, these are exaggerated scenarios. But, they clearly show us two different mindsets: What I have to say is important and I want my outfit to advance my idea –versus– My physical body and appearance are what people are focusing on.
Your thoughts and ideas are the most unique part about you! What you’re wearing is important, especially since 80% of managers believe clothing impacts your chances of being promoted, but this is tertiary to your knowledge and personality. In every environment, a dinner date or a business meeting, you have a lot of offer.
So, don’t hesitate to wear your favorite creme cashmere sweater at your next winter date. If the guy prefers to spend time with girls who wear tight dresses or plunging tops to dinner, then he isn’t focusing on the important stuff — what you are saying and how you feel.
And, he’s ignorantly unappreciative of high-quality material.
